Addictive Love - An Addict's Wife Story

I'm tired of this, this just doesn't make sense
Then I waited for him to answer in his defense
But there was absolutely nothing he could say
That could change the atmosphere on this particular day
So the tone was set and he had to have known
That the house we inhabited was no longer a home
For he'd taken that concept that I held precious and dear
And treated it haphazardly when he allowed drugs to interfere
Yes, the man I thought I knew and gave my heart to
Neglected to inform me of the past he was connected to

And without warning, just like that things began to change
And the God that he served had now become strange
Items disappeared, money was stolen as his habit was brought to light
Denial was my enemy, trying to get him to confess to what was right
How could this happen, where did I go wrong
In the midst of You teaching me Lord, just help me to be strong
Because I'm taking hits now since my covering is bound
So help me to hang in there and stand my ground
May Your armor shield me and protect me from the enemy's darts
As I seek Your face with my whole heart
Because where I go from here, I really don't know
I'm indecisive as whether to stay or go

Afterall, why should I continue to be with a man
Whom I don't trust and have pushed away Your hand
Why should I stay Lord, when the things I'm going through
Would not have even transpired if he was serving You
He's reneged on every promise and has caused me grief and pain
His words are no longer viable and he's lost his good name
So I feel that I have regressed and have stepped back instead
Because instead of gaining, I'm losing and I feel horribly misled
The lies and deceit are what gets to me more
And it's become as second nature to him as a household chore
Some days I held my breath when from work I came home
Not knowing what would be there and what would actually be gone
It's so hard when you work to achieve and have nice things
Then within your own home, you've been picked off clean
From his clothes and cologne to my perfume and tools
To a tv and vcr player, they all soon became old news

It was hard to live but even harder to love
A man you now despise who use to be a part of your world
But with the grace of God, I've learned to trust in this fact
That only God can usher this prodigal son back
So this is my story but I know I'm not alone
For there is an addictive love in nearly one of four homes
And if you're staying, I salute you on the decision you made
But for those who'll be leaving; there's no condemnation to you
For your sacrifice has already been paid


-Inspiration Creations by Cantrice-